


Spock's eyes

by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden)



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Best Friends, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mother-Son Relationship, a bit of angst, but also love, et al - Freeform, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 21:52:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7862494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Of_Dresden/pseuds/ClaraCivry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vulcan's aren't supposed to be emotional creatures but Spock is and you can see it in his eyes. </p><p>Four people reflect about Spock, and four emotions that define him for them. Character study of sorts (through what others think of him) sadness, lots of fluff and friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spock's eyes

I.

_Look at his eyes. They look sad._

When he was a child and lived in Vulcan, people mocked Spock because of his eyes. They were too human, they had too many emotions in them. People said they were sad, but they were only sad because Spock understood the other children's insults and how they thought of him as inferior.

For some years, before he decided to prove them wrong, Spock believed them. He believed he was less because he wasn't fully Vulcan, because he was a half breed, a hybrid, because a being without all the advantages that Vulcans had could not rise to the levels of his companions. Because being half human made him prone to emotions, and that way prone to mistakes and distractions incompatible with great scientific achievements. Yes, for a long time he believed that and it made him sad and so people commented on his sad eyes.

Amanda loved her son's eyes, just as she loved all of him. For a while when she was pregnant a part of her feared that the child would turn out so Vulcan that he may resent her shows of affection and be unable to return her feelings. That he may think of her as a disadvantage, as an aberration, something that shouldn't be. That he would wish for any other mother so that he could be on the same level as the rest of boy and girls his age.

But when he was born and she saw his face, she knew those fears had been wrong. Spock was capable of love, capable of many emotions and incredibly sensitive for a half Vulcan. He had his father's intelligence and nobility and had her family's propension for good and for love. Because despite what others thought of him, Spock felt things, showed emotions, and he loved both his parents inmensely (maybe even her a bit more, because she always knew how to cheer him up when the others had been picking on him).

Sometimes, Amanda wished it wasn't the case, that he was as emotionless as the rest of the Vulcans. She had seen her child cry, and it had broken her heart. Yes, it was a nomral thing and on earth everybody saw it very very often but in there, tears were very rare. And to see her own precious Spock shed so many while trying to hide them so that nobody would pick on him even more...He shouldn't be shamed for his emotions, he is just a child for god's sake.

Amanda could see in her son's eyes all that her human legacy and her husband's Vulcan one had given to Spock, and thought him even more beautiful because of it. Spock had her eyes, eyes could show everything, what he was thinking, what he was feeling, all those mountain of thoughts, of sentiment. One of Amanda's last thoughts was her son's eyes, with that familiar sadness written in them mixed with disbelief and agony.

When she falls, she closes her own eyes and thinks of her unlikely but wonderful family, one last time.

_May you live long and prosper, my beautiful sad eyed child._

II.

Uhura loves Spock.

Some of her partners mocked her with it, when she was in the academy and she denied it completely (you have the hots for the Vulcan? Absolutely not!) but Nyota had a crush less than a week after meeting Spock. She didn't let it show, obviously, she was more professional than that, but she had to admit it felt extra special when he complimented her on her skills or congratulated her for a job well done. She was focused on being the best and showing off her incredible linguistic skills

She wasn't exactly sure about what had been what had drawn him to her, what she found so... sexy, for lack of a better word. He was really smart, which was always a plus in a guy - a requirement for her, even, but it wasn't just that. Spock wasn't this emotionless column people thought him to be, he was so much more. Much more deep, much more intense. Nyota had only seen glimpses of the man behind the Vulcan, but she liked what she saw.

And after some time she understood that he felt the same way, and what had started as a schoolgirl crush had slowly become something more, until he saw herself with him in ten years, in twenty, when they were both old people still in outer space, living adventures, being next to each other. Just like she was next to him in that moment, in her bed in the ship.

Maybe she should do something about it, ask for a bigger bed so they could both fit better, but she didn't want to. She liked the closeness the single bed forced on them, she liked touched him all that much. She liked this front row seat of him, his features, his face, everything. One would think that she'd grown tired of it, but no. If anything she liked it now even more.

"Good morning, you" She told him when he opened his eyes.

He didn't reply for a minute, and just looked at her with those big eyes of his.

Maybe it had been that what had drawn her to him, the way he looked at her. As if she was the most interesting thing in the world universe, as if she had stars, whole galaxies in her. His eyes bespoke of horrors past, of loss and loneliness but also of strength, and kindness and love and she just wished she could stay like that forever.

Watching the love in his eyes. The love of a thousand galaxies.

III.

"We have to stop meeting like this, Spock." Bones said as he tried to stop a big wound Spock had in his chest and at the same time tried to assess the damage to the rest of him. He'd gotten hurt in a mission in a nearby planet where they stopped for supplies and now it was his job to fix him up, or else Uhura and Jim would have his head. It was quite bad.

Apart from the wound in his chest and the gashes in his face and neck, he'd broken a bone in his left arm and badly bruised his stomach, a specially soft area due to prior injuries. It was going to be a long night near his bed that night, and a long recovery. And Spock was a prticularly bad patient, because his people thought showing emotion was bad and no matter how much Spock fought against anti-human prejudice there would always be a voice in his head telling him that it was “illogical” or “irrelevant” to express how much pain he really was in, until he was on the verge of collapsing or physically collapsed.

In recent times, Bones had become better acquainted with the Vulcan and his particular way of dealing with pain. How he hid behind sly observations about his doctor's medical skills, how he kept saying that surely, there must have been something more important than tending to him or how is discomfort was mild and he felt “adequately for a situation like this”.

The doctor knew that there are some Vulcans who have trained their bodies and their minds to not feel anything and he thinks he's heard of an specific discipline to get rid of pain, but this is obviously not the case of their dear First Officer. Bones wasn't the greatest person in the art of reading people's expressions, but he wasn't all that bad at it. And his many years as a doctor had taught all the different ways in which people showed pain.

Spock didn't close his fists, like other people did, didn't fidget, didn't breathe in a funny way, didn't double over himself (although he sometimes clearly wanted to), but one could see it in the way he held himself and specially in his eyes. They became... different somehow. The way they had been after he lost his mother, the way they had been in more than one occasion when people mentioned Vulcan. He didn't say anything, and Bones wasn't going to break his illusion of invulnerability, if he didn't want.

But sometimes he wished he could something about it, something more than prescribe or inject. Something that would really ease his pain. Jim was much easier to talk to, specially about sensitive issues. But Spock... maybe one day they will get there, or maybe one day the pain will be completely gone from his eyes. But for today, all he can do carefully heal his wounds and ask, the old fashioned way, if he was in any pain.

Spock turned his head, looked at Bones and softly said,

“Yes”

IV.

Jim sometimes wonder how different things would have been if Spock hadn't been part of his crew. If he didn't have his stoicity and logic to guide him, if he didn't have someone to help him get grounded when he got a bit off track, if he didn't have a true friend by his side in all his crazy adventures. Would he be friends with his first officer? Maybe they just had a professional relationship and that was all.

The thing is, he would be a different person is Spock wasn't by his side, and he isn't even sure he would like that person. Wether it was to impress him or spite him, to help him or with his help, all of his history in Starfleet, all of his greatest hits so to speak have been with Spock, and the Vulcan has played a central role. And Jim wouldn't like it any other way. 

 

He knew he could count on him for anything, the same way the Vulcan counted on him. There were no boundaries between them, not anymore, and they talked to each other freely. They were friends in a way that he'd never had a friend before. When Jim didn't know what to do, he went to Spock, when his plans seemed a little half done, he went to Spock, simply when he needed a different point of view or a friendly ear, he knew he could go to Spock, and Spock could come to him. 

 

Sure, they bickered and sometimes got on each other's nerves and snapped at each other and sometimes even needed a little space. They had different approaches to matters, different views, different hobbies etc. Sometimes they clashed and neither of them liked losing a verbal battle. But, when they needed each other, they always came through, always were there to help. 

 

They trusted each other, they supported each other and in their union, they were much stronger. 

 

It was this trust that made them such a great team and had allowed incredible adventures to happen. It was this trust one of the things that made the Enterprise home, and the only home they would ever need. Knowing you had someone made everything easier all problems less problems, because you knew the other person would help you, stand by you. When he looked a t Spock, he saw that trust reflected in his friends eyes and could breathe more easily. 

 

Even in the middle of the unexplored space, Jim had his home, right there, in a dark gaze that stared back at him. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked!
> 
> If you enjoyed, please leave some feedback? Thankssss ;)


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